Comparison serves no purpose

We all get a little down sometimes. And then we look around and notice how well everyone else is doing and it makes us even more down. Why? Because we are wasting our time comparing ourselves to other people. Comparison really serves no purpose if it’s just going to make you feel bad about yourself. The only comparison that is useful isn’t called comparison - it’s called inspiration. People can inspire us to work harder and to have better habits, they shouldn’t cause us to look at our own situations in complete and utter despair which only leads us to not doing anything. So here’s how you can stop listening to that annoying comparison demon in your head and instead look at people for inspiration.

1) Everyone does it. You’re not weak or weird for comparing yourself to others. Everyone does it, unfortunately. Sometimes you just have to acknowledge that you feel that there’s something that you think is lacking in your current situation, and more often than not it’s other people that bring our attention to these things, whether they realise it or not. We should see that as an opportunity for self-improvement not a self demeaning exercise.

2) Stop wasting your time. Okay let’s relate this comparison thing back to your exams and academics. Comparing yourself to other people in your academics is a complete and utter waste of time because first of all you don’t know that person’s ability, or how they learn and you don’t know what they had to do to get to that supposed place that you’re trying to get to. We are saying this because generally when comparison between people occurs in education , you don’t ask the person who you’re comparing yourself to how they got there in the first place, you just assume they are like that, which is simply not true! If someone else can learn something, so can you. Also, all that time you’re taking to ponder on comparing yourself you could use on improving your studies and becoming even better! Wasting time - don’t do it.

3) Ask that person/people or just ask for help. In every class there seems to be that one wonder kid that just knows all the answers to all the questions, does amazingly on all their tests and just seems to excel in everything they do and that’s great for them. But you’re probably comparing yourself to them when what you should be doing is talking to them and asking them how they do it. They weren’t born with the innate ability to do exams, they’ve learned to be like that so ask them for help! Just a side note, you might find yourself asking and being given very vague answers, or the classic ‘oh I don’t really revise’. IT IS ALL A LIE. They DO revise, they just don’t want to share their secrets, so in that case you go somewhere else looking for help (e.g. your teachers).

4) Inspiration is the new comparison. How about instead of comparing yourself to someone, you use them as your inspiration ? Instead of thinking ‘wow I could never be like them’, you think ‘wow it’s possible for me to reach that level, since it’s clearly been done before’.

5) You are good enough. You might not believe this right now but it’s the truth. School and academics have a way of making people internalise certain negative things about themselves, which stops them trying very early in, and most of the time (especially as a girl studying STEM subjects), there aren’t many people that make you feel that much better. That’s why you have to believe in your abilities and realise that you’re good enough without anyone having to tell you. When you truly believe this you won’t be wasting your time comparing yourself to others, because how others do won’t even cross your mind since you’re confident in your own abilities.

A lot of the time the people you are comparing yourself to believe they can do it before even starting on a task, and that belief allows them to excel and causes them to do their work the way they do because they are not easily disheartened. You can do it.